YOU'RE HYASTANCI if...
your rims cost more than your house
you wear Lofers
You wear 4 or 5 stripe adidas or Badidas
you have a unibrow
you think you're in an Armenian Mafia
you think everyone's name is "Ara"
your armpits smell like basterma
your beamer's liscense plate says Davo em apeh
you have an illegal cell phone from North Hollywood
what you're reading is on a stolen/bought/at Good Guys computer
you playa hate Beirutsis and Barskahyes

YOU'RE BARSKAHYE if...
you have a special way of pronouncing R when speaking Armenian
your last name ends w/ "IAN"
you go to Shiraz regularly
your name or cousin's is ARTIN or ARBI or NARBEH
your favorite word is "HEIR" (meaning why)
you CALL what you do Break Dancing
you pluck your eyebrows or shave your legs
you go to Ararat parties and call them Raves
you wear blue contacts
you go "bareeev, mamen baben inchbeseeen?"

YOU'RE BEIRUTSI OR HALEBTSI if...
You go to Teen Dances every week
You're in AYF
you always go "yallah"
you think that you're the best in everything
your name is panos, sako, george, puzant, garo, rita, sevag, jirayr, anto, or anything else
every sentence you say, ends with "AGA, SHAKHS, LAN" 
you become a mechanic in the future after being in law school
you have a computer just for Solitaire
you have more oil in your hair than in your car
you won't date a guy without a car or $
you're very very tight with $
your parents want you home before 6am
your parents are DEGENERATE gamblers
you call your Peachfuzz A Goatee

your dad owns a Panose's Bakery

you work at Gap, Miller's Outpost, or some "cool" store
you buy your clothes from Abercrombie or that kinda stuff

you have an Ararat Masis picture in your den

you have that William Saroyan poster

your dad thinks "oghi 4 life"

you have "dolma" on a weekly basis
you give only GOLD stuff as gifts